Tuesday, June 21, 2011

"Great is the Lord and mighty in power; His understanding is infinite." Psalm147

Lately, my understanding of why things happen as they do is being tested.  I recently lost a dear friend who had plans to work with me on my music and had previously illustrated two children's books my daughter and I wrote. The books were distributed to every school in the state of Nebraska as part of an educational campaign for the Nebraska Dry Bean Commission.  For awhile, my daughter Melissa, Randy and I toured and promoted the book and formed a company called Benjamin Bean Productions.  But, eventually, other projects led each of us in different directions. 

Randy was young - in his late 30's.  I had just talked to him weeks before his death about how we could get together and explore ways to improve my musical compositions and submit them for publication and possibly put them on the Internet.  Now, that will not be happening. Why did I tarry?

Randy was so brilliant in so many ways.  And he was humble about it.  He could write music in his head and pen it on paper - not just one instrument but many.  Another Mozart in a sense.  His artistic endeavors were amazing. The details he drew in the pages of our books could not go unnoticed - they were unique - some included bits of  humor and imagination coupled with the reality of a true story.

He was getting closer all the time to being recognized for his talents - to get them out "there" so to speak and to share with more than just a few.  In fact, I am confident he would have, if only he were still here on this earth.

It has been nearly a month now since he has passed into the arms of God.  And I still find myself thinking of him.  I just got most of my compositions recorded on CD and Randy was anxious to hear them and so willing to help me. I had been sitting on this project for ages.  God has given me these melodies to share with others which I have done over the years as Randy did.  But I know God wants me to do more.  I keep dragging my feet.

But after Randy's passing, I was determined to do something with my music.  I sent one song I wrote to a Gospel Music contest in Nashville.  It's like, my tribute to him.  His death was not in vain in just this one sense, for it got me going on my project.  He would be so excited for me - he was just that way.

I don't understand why he had to die when he did.  His future looked so bright even though he had been through lots of struggles in life.  I felt God was refining him and preparing him for a greater work..

Now I think of him in heaven, playing his classical pieces for God on his guitar and drawing pictures of heaven.  I have to trust in God's infinite wisdom.  God knew it was Randy's time to be with Him.  It doesn't make sense to me but it does to God.  I must leave the questions, the whys in His hands and believe that He had a reason.

I look froward to seeing Randy in heaven some day.  I was so happy to hear from one of his friends  and former classmates who told me the story of how he had continually witnessed to him about the salvation of the Lord.  And Randy had accepted Christ as his Savior.  

I praise God for the hope He gives us all.  Do you know Him as your Lord and Savior and do you plan to be in heaven one day?  Life is fragile.  Be sure you are headed in the right direction.  I am so glad I decided to follow Jesus when I was a teen, many years ago.  He has walked with me, carried me, and kept loving me even when I did not understand.  Thank you Jesus.

And thank you that I had the opportunity to know Randy and to work with him on creative projects.  It was truly a blessing.  See you again some day friend!

1 comment:

Melissa Marsh said...

This was absolutely wonderful, Mom. You beautifully captured Randy's spirit. I am so thankful he knew the Lord and is now in heaven, and I, too, can't wait to see him again. :-)